Family-School Partnership

Stephanie Sarvana • November 28, 2023

Our children really thrive when home and school environments work cooperatively, communicate well, and share similar educational values and expectations. When families devote sincere effort to learning about Montessori principles and how to reinforce these at home, there are positive effects. We want to partner with you in support of your child!


What does a home-school partnership look like in action?


In order to reinforce and extend your child’s experience at TOTH, we recommend exploring how to support your child’s independence and problem-solving, staying up to date with school-home communication, and learning about positive-based discipline.


Supporting Independence


To support independence, it’s important to remember that even the youngest child can engage in real-life activities around the house. They can help set the table, fold the laundry, feed any pets, and tidy a room. Older children can contribute to home life by participating in household chores such as loading and emptying the dishwasher, putting away groceries, gathering trash/recycling, preparing simple meals, and more elaborate pet care. 


In this process, we want to provide children practice with self-care skills. This can range from putting on their own shoes, to picking out their clothes for the next day, to planning and packing their lunches. Providing children with these opportunities builds independence, confidence, and life skills. Even with very young children, the Montessori approach is “help me to do it myself.” 


We also want to give our children the opportunity to overcome challenges. They might struggle to get their shoes on at first. Rather than swoop and just quickly do it for them, we can break down the steps and offer some simple verbal guidance: open the velcro first, pull here, open the straps, slide your toes into the shoe, push down, etc. When we provide support for problem-solving rather than “fixing” a problem, we help our children build self-esteem, their sense of purpose, and the determination to master life skills. 


Communication is Key


Although staying up to date with communication seems like a simple step to staying in partnership, lives get so busy and it can be easy to overlook those weekly updates from your child’s teacher or forget to reschedule a missed conference. To prioritize our children’s educational experience, we can take some simple steps to make sure we are in alignment and not working at cross purposes. 


At the core, we want to maintain respectful, direct, and active communication with each other. This can be as simple as communicating with your child’s guide(s) in a timely manner about significant changes or events in your child’s life. Life outside of school has an impact on your child’s classroom experience, and communicating with your child’s guides will allow them to better support your child during times of transition or challenge. 


Most recently, our Fall parent-teacher conferences offered a lovely opportunity to collaborate. But please remember that you don’t have to wait until regularly scheduled conferences! Please share observations and concerns about your child or their classroom experience directly with the child’s lead guide. Doing so allows the adults at school to be more responsive to your child’s needs in a timely manner. We want to know your thoughts and feelings sooner than later! 


Another good step is to familiarize yourself with the handbook each year. It’s easy to think it only requires one read, but it’s worth revisiting the handbook throughout the school year to review school policies and remember important procedures and expectations. Similarly, reading communications from the school and classroom is an effective way to stay current about any updates or changes and to build a trusting partnership with your child’s classroom guides. You are also welcome to reply to the weekly classroom emails with comments or questions for the teachers!


We want to hear and understand your perspective. We also want to share how we work to uphold the mission and vision of the school and Montessori pedagogy in a way that balances individual needs with community needs. Communication is key!


Practice Positivity


We work hard to model respect and positivity. To support this, we ask that you also model respect for your child. This can take the form of practicing positive discipline (read more about this on the Positive Discipline website).


Practicing positivity can also mean assuming the best intent. For example, if misunderstanding or conflicts arise, either at home or at school, as adults we can demonstrate respect. We can work toward resolution with graciousness and model being open to hearing another’s perspective. Children are watching and listening. If we speak of community members in positive terms, even if there is a concern or disagreement, our children will learn how to approach potentially tense situations with thought and care. 


Thank you for being willing to understand and support the school’s policies, stay in communication, support independence, and serve as a role model for all children. We appreciate it when families are willing to learn about and trust the Montessori model of education. This awareness helps us work together to collaboratively support children’s development most effectively. Children thrive when they experience their home and school environments as being in sync! 


One of the best ways to learn more about the Montessori experience is to observe. Schedule a tour! We would love to connect!

Independence: Let Them Struggle

By Katherin Castro Hoyos, Lead Toddler Guide • October 22, 2026
In the Montessori environment, we talk a lot about independence. But how does independence actually develop? How can we, as adults, support a child on this path? One of the first steps toward independence begins with movement. As the child starts to separate from the caregiver physically —moving, crawling, walking, reaching, and exploring— they begin to discover something profound: I can do things by myself. I can reach for something without being carried there. I can move toward what interests me. I can try. But before children can become independent, they depend on us. And the way we relate to them during this period of dependence makes a difference in their journey toward independence. From Doing For the Child to Doing With the Child At the beginning, especially in a toddler classroom, we do things with the child, not for the child. We guide them through each step. We show them how to push their pants down, where to place the diaper when it is wet, how to get water from the sink into a pitcher and how to pour the water, how to touch others gently, how to ask for a hug, and how to respect and accept it when someone does not want a hug. Sometimes we show them once and sometimes we show them what feels like an innumerable number of times! And then, they start doing it by themselves. Isn't this amazing? This is the growth of independence, and alongside independence grows something equally important: self-confidence. Independence Does Not Mean Doing Everything Alone At the same time, being independent does not mean that we no longer need other people. Human beings are interdependent. We rely on one another, learn from one another, and grow through our relationships with one another. Needing someone does not mean that we are incapable. This is one of the beautiful things about the mixed-age Montessori environment. The teachers are not the only ones showing children how to do things. When a child has mastered a skill, we can invite that child to show another child who has not yet mastered it. “Can you show Eli how to clean his nose?” The child will happily help. In that simple interaction, one child is learning a new skill, while the other is experiencing what it feels like to contribute and share knowledge. Both children are growing. This is interdependence: I can do things for myself, and I can also be part of something bigger than myself. Let Them Struggle If we want independence to develop, the child needs opportunities to struggle. Let them struggle when they are trying to put on their socks. Let them attempt to pour the water even when some of it spills. This can be difficult for us as adults because sometimes it is much easier and faster to simply do it for them. We can see the sock is inside out and we know exactly what needs to happen next. But if we always step in before the child has had the opportunity to try, we may unintentionally communicate: You need me to do this for you. Instead, we can practice patience, staying close, observing and offering just enough help for the child to continue. This does not mean leaving a child alone with frustration. It means staying with them without taking over. Sometimes the right amount of help might be showing the movement slowly. We can exaggerate the movement so the child can clearly observe it and begin to internalize it. Sometimes it might be holding the sock open while allowing the child to put their foot inside. Sometimes it might simply be saying, “You can do it. Keep trying.” The Gift of Trying Again Frustration is not necessarily something we need to rescue children from. It is a feeling they can experience, move through, and learn from —with the presence of a supportive adult. When we allow children to experience the difficulty of something while communicating, “I know you can do this”, we give them an opportunity to discover their own competence. And when they finally succeed, no one can take that experience away from them. They have learned something much bigger than how to put on a sock. They have learned: Something can be hard, and I can keep trying. I can ask for help when I need it. I can try again. These experiences become part of the child's developing sense of self. They begin to internalize a sense of competence that will stay with them long after the sock. Independence comes through interdependence, and the beauty of childhood —and of being human— is found in this ongoing dance of holding and letting go, over and over again.

Beginning a New School Year

By ToTH Montessori • October 20, 2026
Welcome to ToTH@Home - Our Blog for Families Who Love Montessori!

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February 21, 2025
In Montessori, discipline is about understanding misbehavior as communication of unmet needs, addressed with empathy and proactive support.

Toilet Learning: The Montessori Way

February 10, 2025
The toilet learning process for young children takes time but doesn’t have to feel daunting. Here are some key aspects of toileting the Montessori way.
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